I have been observing the recent cycles of my own state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every so often\u2014sometimes two weeks, sometimes a month\u2014I slip into a period of decline, losing interest in everything. It is not a sudden collapse but a gradual \u201cpowering down.\u201d My mental state drops bit by bit until it falls below 20%.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then, I start having strange dreams. For instance, yesterday I dreamed I was on a bus-boat. In the dream, all the city streets had turned into rivers, and buses had become boats. I sat at the bow, weaving through narrow alleyways (if anyone knows how to interpret dreams, please advise).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After that, getting out of bed becomes especially difficult. Most of the time, only my bladder can force me to \u201cboot up.\u201d Once awake, I mindlessly scroll through short videos. It is not that I find them interesting\u2014I am desperately seeking some fresh stimulation\u2014but no matter how much I scroll, the content remains monotonous. Before I know it, it is lunchtime. I open the food delivery app and swipe through options repeatedly, going back and forth, and unsurprisingly, I end up ordering the same meal I had yesterday.
I do not even want to pick up my packages, and dirty clothes pile up on the sofa...<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During this cycle, I feel as though I have been unplugged, sinking into a kind of mental shock. I cannot muster energy for anything, cannot bring myself to do anything, and can only passively endure, waiting to return to my normal state cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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