Saying "loneliness" may sound a bit pretentious, but sometimes I actually enjoy this feeling.
And under this feeling, one would think of some very strange questions, such as why am I who I am? If this world were a game. Sometimes I really want to open up a third-person perspective to see myself. This kind of thinking is very strange and gives a sense of division.
Why is it like this?
A self that has been profoundly educated by life or society. I have learned some skills for dealing with people and matters as well as skills for living. Pass all the levels to accumulate points and buy equipment. Weigh the pros and cons when doing things and quantify everything to view the world. For instance, how big the city is, how tall the house is, how much money one has, and how young one is.
The other self has never changed either. I like watching the ants on the ground and the clouds in the sky. Daydreaming about beauty is particularly stubborn and aloof. Emotional and vulnerable, crying while watching movies...
Sometimes I wonder if there's a bug in my reincarnation process. Two souls were stuffed into the same body, and they were particularly polarized.
Well, I want to have a chat with myself.
