Recently, I've been completely out of form when doing things. The efforts I've made haven't received any positive feedback at all. A positive mindset is constantly being eroded. Every day when I turn on the computer to work, it's hard to focus. Then, it automatically starts watching videos and playing games. Lost in nothingness.
I think I have suffered from intermittent listlessness, but I just don't know to what extent. Just strive to find some meaning in a meaningless life. I clearly know I should move forward, but it feels as if I'm being pulled by something, unable to take a single step. Clearly watching oneself sink into despair...
It's not that I don't want to strive, but even if I do, I still can't see the end. So I might as well hide in a brief moment of happiness, numb myself and pretend that everything is okay. I was constantly on the move. After walking for a long time, even the scenery along the roadside became blurred. Only in a corner where no one can see, one can break down while healing oneself, doubt while struggling...
Dear ideal, please allow me to browse my phone for a while and just give up.
